The Devastaing Case That is Hitting Close to Home for Women Everywhere.

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Since the 3rd March, I have seen a face popping up on my Instagram more times than I can count, Sarah Everard. Posts from friends, family, and people from all over the country shared stories and posts in a collective urgency to find her. When you hear of a missing person case it is always devastating, but there was something about Sarah Everard’s disappearance that felt different.

Sarah was walking home at 9pm and did everything right – she wore sensible shoes. She called her boyfriend. She walked on lit streets. She wore bright clothing. She walked past CCTV. She followed all the unwritten rules, and that still didn’t save her.

What’s so disconcerting about this case is that it happened during lockdown, a time we have mostly been isolating inside the safety of our homes to protect ourselves and loved ones against an entirely different risk. It is one thing to fear a virus in the outside world, something invisible to the naked eye but to add a further seed of dread to the list – a real and valid fear of danger at the hands of other human beings – is a burden no woman needs right now, or ever for that matter.

It’s disheartening – but not surprising – that recent data released by UN Women suggests that 97% of young women aged 18-24 in the UK have been sexually harassed. Women are scared, they have always been scared and it’s cases like this that validate our long-held fears. Sarah was missing for a week before a man was arrested on suspicion of her murder. This man was a serving member of the metropolitan police, a trusted armed guard at Westminster, Downing Street. He was in a position where he was supposed to protect us.

I can’t image the indescribable horror that Sarah’s friends, parents, boyfriend, loved ones must be feeling right now it is overwhelming and feels crushing. It weighs heavy on us all. I can’t stop thinking about them and her, and I know I’m not alone.

Sarah’s tragic case has shaken every single woman in the country. It not only reminded us of everything we have been taught to fear since we were children is real, but that we are also blamed for the fear we feel by society. By encouraging victim blaming, we are not only showing abusive men that there are no consequences to their actions, but we are telling female victims that they won’t be believed and they will be the ones condemned, side-lined and ignored.

The problem with saying ‘not all men’ in response to harassment and violence against women is that no one actually thinks all men. It’s just that too many men. It’s just enough men to make women feel afraid. It’s just enough men that 97% of women have a story. It’s just enough men to make it a social problem not a personal one.

Women shouldn’t have to plan carefully chosen, well-lit routes when walking home. Women shouldn’t have to carry their keys between their fingers as the only way of self-defence. Women shouldn’t have to text their friends the details of their route home ‘in case something happens’. Women should be able to walk home at 9:30pm without fear of attack or harm. Women should be able to walk down a street without crossing the road because they feel uncomfortable about the person walking towards them.

But it’s time to act. Make a change. If we continue to tell women to adjust their actions to stay safe, we are not addressing the problem. We are not solving anything. So why don’t we educate men on the importance of respecting women? In 2021, we surely cannot be playing the ‘but how short was her skirt’ card.

By Anonymous

In 2019 I became, what some may say, a ‘victim’ of sexual assault. Being a 15-year-old girl I believed I was invincible, I believed I was strong, I believed when I said the word ‘no’ I could not only be heard but would also be listened too. I felt embarrassed, dirty, and ashamed. I placed the blame onto myself and never felt more alone. For 16 months I remained silent.

I was asked why, and this is the answer…

I had convinced myself I made it up and that If it did happen, I owed him, I wore a skirt, so I asked for it and because I’d been drinking underage it was my fault. I was condoning what happened because he was a boy who wanted something. I told myself he had his own life, a family, friends – many of them probably girls – and they all knew he wasn’t a bad person so, who was I, a complete stranger to judge.

After speaking up and getting the help I needed my one regret was not telling someone straight away. Over approximately 487 days of silence I faced shame, denial, and an identity crisis. My life was being consumed by a tiny moment. A tiny moment that seemed like forever. No more believing I was invincible – especially in a skirt, no more believing I was a strong individual, and no more believing the word ‘no’ mattered.

Talking of my experience now, although anonymous, I feel I am reclaiming my life back, reclaiming what was taken away from me and reclaiming my pride of being a woman. Although difficult I am coming to the realisation that I have a future to look forward too rather than a past that defines me.

We are going to shout Sarah’s name until change is made. For Sarah, for all the girls and women who have ever felt afraid.

Please share her story and make a change.

Written by Meg Morrison

Artwork by Lucy McMillan